There is a new trailer for DICE’s Mirror’s Edge, the awesome looking FPS that almost makes me want to get a PS3.
DO WANT!
Geometry Wars Sequel!
More E3 goodness, Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 is coming to Xbox Live Arcade August 6th and will support four player co-op play (but not online) plus five additional play modes. It will also contain a Two Player copilot mode where one player moves and the other shoots. Sweet.
id Sofware partners with Electronic Arts
Joystiq reports that id Software (creators of Doom and Quake) have partnered with Electronic Arts. From their post:
“Id Software creator John Carmack just announced at Electronic Arts’ press conference that it has partnered with the publisher. The Quake and Doom creator has long used Activision as a publisher, but we wonder if things got bitter after the travesty that was Quake Wars console ports. Id and EA? What a great … idea?“
See what they did there?
Final Fantasy XIII for PS3 Only in Japan, Both PS3 and 360 in US
With every E3 comes the unveiling of a new Final Fantasy game, though I wish I could say I cared at this point. I’ve been nothing but disappointed with the series since FF8 and I don’t see any reason to go back to it. In a strange move, however, it’s been announced that the latest installment in the series will only be released on the PS3 in Japan, but for both “next gen” consoles in the U.S.
The original Portal was a triumph (I’m making a note here, huge success). Many gamers find it hard to overstate their satisfaction with the First Person Puzzler that was released last year. The spin-off to Half Life is easily one of Valve’s greatest creations and was nominated for several game of the year awards for 2007 second only to Bioshock.
Today, it was announced that Portal: Still Alive is scheduled for a fall release on Xbox Live Arcade. It will contain the original game, new levels and new achievements… and that’s no lie (cake or otherwise).
There hasn’t been any word on whether or not this be will also available for PC via Steam. Given Valve’s stance on PC’s being the ideal game platform, I would be very surprised if this didn’t get an eventual PC release. Someone should advise Gabe Newell that Developer Hell is a very real place where he will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
So… Mega Man 9 was announced a couple of weeks ago. It’s the latest sequel to the old-school classic Mega Man games that center around the original Blue Bomber and his fight to stop the evil mad scientist, Doctor Wily and his army of killer fucking robots.
It was also revealed that the game would be created in the style of the old 8-bit NES Mega Man titles. And there was much rejoicing. For me, as well as most Nintendo fanboys all over the world, this was the only thing on the planet that could top SEX. While the last three titles in the NES era games sort of drove the series into the ground, the original three titles still hold up today as some of the greatest games ever made. When I learned that the game was going for the retro 80’s look I almost shed a tear.
Of course, it was inevitable that there would be an uproar from some gamers who are used to their games (good or bad) looking all nice and shiny. To paraphrase the majority of the comments seen on most gaming blogs “ZOMG THE GRAPHICS ARE TEH SUXX THIS GAME IS GOING TO B HORRIBL WHY W00D J00 STEP BACKWRDZ& KNOT MAK IT AT LEAST 2.5D!!!1 DIS IS JUS AN ATEMPT FOR DA CORPRATIONZ TO ROB J00 OF UR MONEEZ BI MILKIN NOSTALJIA!!eleven”
Look… I’m not going to get into a rant about how games used to exercise your imagination or how this game is going to be judged more on its gameplay than its graphics. I have better things to worry about than some dipshits on the internet who think that the game industry owes them each of their first born children. But I will say this: IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, THEN DON’T FUCKING BUY IT! Let the rest of us fanboys who want our childhoods back have our way, too. It’s not going to have that big an impact on you anymore than the casual gaming crowd has. Get over it.
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Some of you may remember my rant from awhile back about the announcement of Mortal Kombat VS DC Universe. Skeptics have every reason to approach this particular title with caution. 3D Mortal Kombat games have a reputation for being average at best and DC Universe rarely gets any decent representation in video games. The only game I can think of off the top of my head would be Batman for the NES, but that was actually a movie tie-in. Plus, it was a Ninja Gaiden clone.
The mash-up of the two looked interesting, but my expectations were pretty low. Then I saw the latest gameplay trailer.
I see the stiff animation from MK:A is still present. Other than that, it looks like it might shape up to be a pretty decent fighter. Hopefully we’ll learn more about it at E3 this week.
Of course, there is the persistent argument from the more anal retentive gamers out there that the cross over “just doesn’t make any sense,” then turn right around and hail Marvel VS Capcom 2 as one of the greatest 2D fighting games ever made.
Crossovers aren’t anything new to either games or comics. We’ve seen Simon Belmont go up against Optimus Prime and Batman face off against the Predator. Yes, the “GET TO DA CHOPPAH!” Predator. Hell, Marvel even as far as to put the X-Men in the same room with Kirk, Spock and McCoy. So the argument that the two universes don’t quite match is kind of ridiculous. If Katamari Damacy has taught me anything it’s that games don’t have to make sense.
And don’t get me started on the “Superman would own everyone” bullshit. Anyone who says that Superman would slaughter each and everyone one of the warriors from the Kombat universe obviously isn’t familiar enough with comics. He’s been killed once already and even Batman beat the crap out of him in The Dark Knight Returns. Not that it matters. The one thing games and comics have in common is that death is just a minor inconvenience. Dracula’s been brought back God knows how many times and even Albert Wesker managed to cheat the grim reaper.
So let’s wait on passing judgment until we actually get to play the damned thing.
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Turns out that the rumored Xbox 360 price drop is true… and just in time for the release of Soul Calibur IV. Awesome. Now if I just had money…
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The time of E3 is upon us once again and obsessive gamers, like myself, will likely spend all of their time refreshing their favorite websites waiting for major announcements of old favorites and new concepts. Sony is rumored to give us the first glimpse of God of War III and Nintendo is rumored to announce Animal Crossing Wii as well as a new Kid Icarus game (and hopefully they’ll give us some kind of long term storage solution for the WiiWare games).
As usual, there is a ton of hype regarding the event and the unveiling of new projects, so expect to see some posts in the coming days on these announcements as they come.
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While looking for videos of No More Heroes for my review, I stumbled upon a series of rants from a blogger named Game Overthinker.
I fucking love this guy. He makes a damn fine point and he echoes my thoughts on modern gaming exactly. And he asks and interesting question: What the fuck happened?
Somewhere between killing an entire baseball team and fighting an African American samurai school girl with a large platinum afro and a Japanese name, I realized that No More Heroes was destined to become an all time favorite. Suda 51 delivered big time with this game giving us an over the top, insane, satirical blood bath of epic proportions that takes a stab at both eastern and western culture. It’s a shame that hardly anyone makes titles like this anymore.
No More Heroes follows the misadventures of Travis Touchdown: a stereotypical otaku loser turned assassin armed with a “beam katana” he purchased on an internet auction. After running out of funds to support his hobby, he accepts a job from the UAA (United Assassins Association) to kill “The Drifter.” Travis becomes rank Eleven after completing his mission and, realizing he is now a target for those ranked lower than him, sets out on mission to become Number One.
Obviously, the story isn’t meant to be taken seriously, but the amount of style and humor that’s been put into this game is exactly what makes the game work so well. The plot is pretty straight forward at first but towards the end of the game, there is a twist so completely WTF that it’s worthy of an M. Night Shyamalan movie (but with no preachy moralizing and crap).
In terms of gameplay, if you’re expecting a vast open ended environment similar to GTA, this isn’t the game for you. There are some minor sandbox elements and your allowed to explore the game world, but there isn’t a whole lot to do aside from the assassination missions, the part-time jobs and the ranked battles. You can customize Travis by buying new apparel at the clothing store, Area 51, and you can build up your strength and techniques at Thunder Ryu’s gym… but the only thing really essential to progressing in the game is earning money to enter next the ranked fight.
Each ranked battle requires that Travis deposit and entry fee to the UAA via ATM. There are numerous part time jobs and side quests (minigames) you can accept for money. You can blow it on stuff like new clothes (as mentioned above), training and wrestling tapes that teach you new moves, but most of this will be spent on working your way through the ranks.
And this is where you get to the core of what No More Heroes is all about: fucking up shit with a light saber. The sandbox elements may be crap, but this is the real reason you want to play this. The combat is much more refined than the other aspects of the game and is greatly satisfying. Heads are decapitated and bodies split while you swing your beam katana around like a mad bastard with unrealistic quantities of blood spraying everywhere.
Fortunately, swinging your sword mainly consists of pressing the A button; a smart choice considering that the combat is the primary focus of No More Heroes and excessive motion controls probably would have killed the game. Thankfully, the motion controls are kept to a minimum. They’re mainly used for Travis’ wrestling moves and delivering the coup de grace with the beam katana, but they’re utilized in some of the part time jobs as well.
One of the things that seperates No More Heroes from most other games in the genre is it’s insanity driven style. The game doesn’t take itself seriously at all and it’s hard not to enjoy its over-the-top sense of humor. For example, the save points in the games are toilets and with every save you’re introduced to a censored scene of Travis taking a shit. Childish and immature, yes, but still funny.
The overall story is a satirical melodrama very reminiscent of Kill Bill and pokes a lot of fun at the usual cliches associated with games and anime. Characters will often go into drawn out monologues before each fight detailing their life story and the revelation toward the end of the game will have you watching the youtube clip repeatedly (you’ll know what I’m talking about when you beat it).
No More Heroes is far from perfect but the same could be said for just about everything else I’ve played. Anybody who claims that a game has achieved absolute perfection is most likely talking about Halo 3 and needs to seriously consider pulling their head out of their ass. If you’re one of the many Wii owners like me who got the console expecting a new way to play the games you grew up with these past few gaming generations, then you owe it to yourself to get No More Heroes as not only a reminder of why this is your console of choice, but also as to why you like games in the first place: fun.
I had what I thought was a decent idea at the time for a story but it didn’t come out very well. It needs work and it’s not exactly in a readable state at the moment. I will have it finished (and to my satisfaction) by Monday. I still have the No More Heroes review planned for tomorrow and I’m almost finished with that.
In case you haven’t guessed it by now, I play a crap ton of video games. Some good, some bad but most were pretty awesome. One thing that has remained constant about my beloved hobby is that every game, no matter awesome it may be, has its flaws. But then again, every form of media is this way.
Most of the time, a game’s minor flaws are easily overlooked in favor of said awesomeness, but there is one thing that’s always bugged me about some and it amazes me that it’s still somewhat of a problem these days.
Voice acting. A game can have near perfect gameplay, stunning visuals and a beautiful soundtrack and still fall short in the voice acting department. Once the developers realized they’ve spent all their budget on everything else, they turn to this year’s interns and decide to put them work.
WARNING
The following is a Top Ten list of some of the worst voice overs in gaming. The samples provided in this post may cause ear bleeding.
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10.Devil May Cry
The Devil May Cry series has always seemed a bit overrated to me but that’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy the first game. It set the foundation for one of my favorite action franchises (God of War) but, as the title of this entry implies, it contained some pretty corny voice overs and poorly written dialog (the story didn’t make much sense in the first place though). It also has the one of the most laughably bad lines ever spoken in a game.
“I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with LIIIIIIIGHT!!!!111one”
9.The original release of Symphony Of The Night
Symphony has and always will be, not just my favorite Castlevania games but one of my favorite games of all time. But, as with most CD games released in the late 90’s, some things got lost in translation for the US release and the cast consists of bunch of nobodies. The guy who voiced Chris Redfield in Resident Evil voices Richter Belmont and the actor for Dracula sounds like he would be more at home as a villain in an old Hannah Barbara cartoon. The only decent voice actor is that of Maria Renard and even she kinda sucked.
The script was better translated and rewritten for the PSP port that comes packaged with Dracula X Chronicles, but the voice acting is only barely a step up.
8.Sin & Punishment
Treasure is easily one of the best things to happen to gaming, especially since they’re less focused on things like story and graphics and more on kick ass retro style gameplay. One of the games they made was a Japan exclusive for the N64 that made it’s American debut recently on the Wii’s Virtual Console. The game is everything you would expect a Treasure title to be: fun, fast and challenging.
I’m not lying when I say that I couldn’t explain the game’s story to you even if I tried. Nothing is explained or explored in the game but that didn’t stop the guys at Treasure from cramming in a bunch of badly voiced and badly written dialog (what a surprise).
(Sorry, the best I could find was of a guy playing it on his emulator)
7.Silent Hill
Despite Silent Hill 2’s superior story, it wasn’t quite as creepy as the first game. Silent Hill is still one of the scariest games I’ve ever played and as much as I love the sequels, nothing has been able to live up the level of fear the first game induced. It was such piss-your-pants experience that even the trademark “shitty voice overs in a survival horror game” couldn’t dampen the experience.
I still get chills in that damn Elementary School with the demon kids in it…
6.Soul Calibur sequels
I bought the first Soul Calibur for Dreamcast way back in 2001 and the name alone brings back a lot of fond memories. Despite the Dreamcast’s demise, I took the opportunity to snag up as many games as I could before they became lost forever and SC was one of those games. It was one of the few fighting games I was actually good at and it also introduced my sister to the wonderful world of video games.
The first game didn’t have any English dubbing so it was in Japanese with subtitles. At the time of its release I was already weary of voice acting in games but one of the things I liked about SC was playing the game in its original language. Japanese is an awesome language and one would think that in a land where gaming is much more mainstream that it is in the States, that they would hire only the best for their own work (because of my lack of knowledge regarding said language, they could just be really shitty at what they do and I just don’t know it <ignorance is bliss>).
Then the sequels came. As superior as the later installments are, I really hated the addition of English voice overs as a default. Fortunately, the developers made it so you could switch the language to Japanese with subtitles. But that’s still no excuse for this.
Still reading? That was just the mediocre stuff. This is where things get reallybad.
5.Sonic Adventure
Sonic’s career may have taken a huge nose dive after the 16-bit era but his first (well, technically his second) outing in 3D was actually pretty good. Nothing spectacular but at least it wasn’t a sign of the end times. That title goes to the God Awful Shadow the Hedgehog.
Sonic Adventure had a number of flaws that needed to be addressed but most of those were gameplay related (Sega should really consider play testing their games a bit more before releasing them). However, the biggest is - yup, you guessed it - the voice acting. It wasn’t bad enough that they had to give them a game a plot, as if it needed one other than “Robotnik is a dick and kidnaps animals,” the acting barely meets what you would expect from a your typical Saturday morning cartoon.
You can change the language to Japanese but this isn’t Soul Calibur. The Japanese voice overs are actually just as irritating as (if not more so than) the English ones. Even Jaleel White didn’t suck this much.
4.House of the Dead 2
Ugh… It’s hard to dis a light-gun game that lets you blast the shit out of zombies but damn. The writing and the voice overs are just… wow.
Simple arcade style games are always going to be on the cheap side but this is just so bad, it’s almost funny. The game’s fun though, despite it having also resulted in one of the worst films ever made.
3.Mega Man 8
Oh God… where do I begin?
Why does Mega Man sound like a castrated 10 year old and who’s bright fucking idea was it to have Dr. Light sound like Elmer Fudd with brain damage?
2.Resident Evil
Resident Evil is best know for popularizing the formula first started by Alone In The Dark and starting the survival horror genre. Guess what else it’s also know for?
Of course, the game was still incredibly awesome. It was the first game that made me afraid to enter the next room as well as the first game I lost sleep over. Still, I’ll always give a chuckle every time I hear “Jill Sandwich.”
Before I post today’s F-Bomb, there’s something I need to get off of my chest…
Why is it that when I put my headphones on, everybody wants to talk to me? Before I started using my PSP as a portable MP3 player, people would usually leave me alone and I’d go about my business. I don’t consider myself anti-social and if you try to start a conversation (this is assuming I don’t have headphones equipped), I’ll be more than happy to talk to you as long as you’re not a bigot/racist or trying to push your beliefs on me. But for the most part, I’m usually left alone.
Then all of a sudden, the instant I put on a pair of headphones and try to tune the rest of the world out, everybody and their goddamned Grandmother wants to bug me. It may just be me, but if I see someone with an iPod listening to music, it seems a pretty clear indication that that person wishes to be left alone. Apparently, not everyone agrees. Because when I put on a pair of headphones, everyone seems to take this as an opportunity to beg for change/ask directions/talk to me about shit that I don’t give a fuck about.
Normally, this wouldn’t bother me except that I always seem to attract the attention of some of the most bizarre mother fuckers in the city. Nothing is more annoying than jamming to some Nightwish only to be interrupted by some dip-shit who thinks that my PSP is going to give me cancer. He then proceeds to try and convince me that there was no moon landing, there is no terrorist threat and that I should really consider voting for Ron Paul.
So please. If you see somebody out there with a pair headphones, chances are they don’t want to be bugged so just leave them alone. Nobody cares about your fucking petition to ban skateboarding in your neighborhood and we care even less about your half-baked conspiracy theories.
And now for some game-related tidbits…
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RUMOR CONTROL
Ok, so this one really isn’t a rumor anymore since it was confirmed, but it’s still interesting. The Wii is finally getting some Castlevania action but not in quite the way we had hoped. Castlevania Judgment is going to be a 3D fighter and will use characters and elements from most of the games in the series. Yes, you read that correctly. So basically, we’re getting a Smash Bros. clone where you play as Simon Belmont and Alucard. Oh, and the game will continue the proud tradition of using Hearts as currency for your sub-weapons (crosses, holy water, daggers, etc.). No screens or gameplay impressions yet, so I’m approaching this one with “casual optimism.”
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MEGA MAN 9! W00T! The best part: Its being designed in classic 8-bit NES retro flavor for release on WiiWare. YUMMEH!
No, I’m not jumping the shark. This is fo’ real, yo.
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Sony has announced that God of War III will indeed be present at this year’s E3 this coming July. Hopefully we’ll get to see Kratos’ next outing by 2009. For me, this is the game that justifies owning a PS3. Until this game comes out, I have no interest in buying one.
That is until I heard the rumor on Joystiq and Kotaku that the PS3 version of Soul Calibur IV might be getting yet another exclusive character: Everybody’s favorite Angry Spartan, Kratos.
Normally, I’d be skeptical about this considering that each of the two versions of the game already has an exclusive character. But then I remembered a statement from the development team that Senor Vader and lil Green Jedi might become available as DLC for either console. In short, they’re temporarily exclusive. By that logic, it would make sense for Sony and Microsoft to negotiate a deal opting for a TRULY exclusive character for each system to motivate console sales. Supporting this theory is a scan I saw of Famitsu magazine that showed Ryu Hayabusa of Ninja Gaiden fame (currently an Xbox exclusive franchise) facing off against what looked like Cervantes. However, I have no way of knowing if it’s pure photoshop magic or a legitimate screenshot. I haven’t seen anything confirming Kratos’ appearance though, so I’m going with the former for now.
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There is a thin layer of dust on the consoles that I have hooked up right now. Between my two jobs, regularly updating this blog and my addiction liking to Team Fortress 2 I haven’t really done much gaming outside of that. One of the reasons I haven’t posted a review for No More Heroes is because I haven’t even finished it. It’s not that I don’t like it, I just don’t have the time for it. The only gaming I get in is when I’m on the bus or at my evening job (I get paid for pushing a button at the right time).
Oh, and did I mention that I’m on my third play through of Chains of Olympus and my 106th of Symphony Of The Night? Did I also mention that, as awesome as these games are, I’m getting kinda tired of them (yet another excuse to hack my PSP <and no, not for pirating games I don’t own>)?
So y’know what? I’m taking a break from this crap. I’ve got a break from my part time job so I’m dedicate some time to finishing up some of my games. I’ll have more to write about in the long run. That also means I’m going to be taking a break from this blog for about week. But I’ll be posting again on Monday after next and I’ll have a pretty lengthy story for you (no exercises, no Bite-Sized Story, I’m talking an actual fucking story).
With the mid-season finale weeks behind us and no BSG in sight until 2009, fans aren’t left with much to do between now and then except speculate what the frak is going on. What’s up with Starbuck’s mysterious return from the grave in her new TEH SEX Viper? Who is the fifth and final Cylon? Will Bill and Laura finally do the Mattress Mambo before she dies of cancer?
And, finally, where the frak do they go from here now that we know Earth is TEH SUCK?
It’s kinda sad that this is the final season of the show but at least we won’t get to see it dragged out and beaten to death like most sci-fi series. There are eleven episodes left in the season and rumor has it that the send off is going to be huge. The last episode is supposedly going to be three hours long and we might also get another TV movie like Razor.
Currently in the process of watching the show again from the beginning, I’ve decided to make a list of my favorite moments for my own amusement (if for no one elses). Since I’m limited to ten on Teh Tuesday, I’ve had to leave out some of those kick ass moments, like Kat’s sacrifice and Saul Tigh’s transition from drunken crazy war veteran to drunken crazy hobo pirate.
Also, check out Wiki Frakr, where you can learn all about the Great Toasting of the Colonies and Margaret “Racetrack” Edmonson’s b00bz.
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Top Ten Most Awesome Moments in Battlestar Galactica
10.Adama’s Porno Mustache
One of the deadliest weapons in the Colonial fleet second only to the Adama Glare.
During the one year scene transition between the settlement of New Caprica and the arrival of the Cylons, Adama grew himself a 70’s pornstar mustache to represent a more relaxed and laid back Admiral who enjoyed the occasional doobie. It could also have doubled as a way to intimidate his enemies but, unfortunately, it was never tested as the Admiral shaved it immediately following the Second Exodus. In theory, the combined forces of the mustache and the Adama Glare would have been enough to destroy an entire Basestar.
9.The Blackbird
Shortly after things get back to “normal” in the colonial fleet, the people on board Galactica begin to realize that life in space fraking sucks. There is no relief from their day to day lives hoping the Cylons don’t show up and everybody is just grumpy and pissed in general. Especially Chief Tyrol, after witnessing the love of his life (also a Cylon traitor) get shot by the whiny bitch that would eventually become his wife. After threatening to club Helo with a wrench and almost biting Lee’s face off, Chief one night decides that he needs a hobby.
When the deck gang arrives for duty the next morning, Chief is already hard at work on building a new fighter and tells the deck that it’s strictly an off duty project. The deck gang isn’t all that crazy about it, especially Jammer, but he’s a pussy anyway. Chief tells them to frak off and works on the fighter himself. As the episode progresses, however, he eventually ends up getting the help of the entire deck gang, a few pilots and damn near half of the CIC. The result was an uber-awesome stealth fighter that Lee ended up destroying a few episodes later. Thanks, asshole.
8. New Caprican Loco-Weed
Before labor disputes, bad management, shitty weather and their new asshole roommates moving in (cylons), things were actually pretty good on New Caprica. There were parties, dances, drinking games and people making out in the fields. Eventually someone got the bright idea to start burning some plants and discovered that the smoke had some interesting side effects and symptoms include cotton mouth, Guitar Hero, poetry and the munchies. This person was most likely Laura Roslin as her and Adama are seen drinking and smoking a big fat doobie in a flashback to the good times on New Caprica.
The scene contains my favorite line by Admiral Adama: “You say this stuff grows around here?”
7.Admiral Cain gets a bullet to the face
From Wiki Frakr:
Helena Cain (known to most as “psycho bitch”). She is the ill-tempered, hypocritical, toaster-banging admiral of the Beast. She is a fan of mid-afternoon snacks, harassing new officers, and doing her best to be on the receiving end of the Adama Glare. She did well at frakking up everything and everyone, at least until she got the receiving end of Gina’s buckshot.
Yeah, she’s not a nice lady. The torturing of her Cylon girlfriend, Gina came back to bite her in the ass though. After the destruction of the Resurrection Ship, Cain retires to her quarters only to have her beaten and raped ex-lover shoot her right in between the eyes. Ding-dong, the Witch is dead! Which old witch? The Wicked Witch!
6. Boomer Busts a Cap
“Oh teh noes! I R NOT A CYLONZ!”
Sharon Valerii isn’t exactly the strongest of characters so it was pretty obvious that she would freak the frak out at discovering that she is a Cylon sleeper agent. During her mission debriefing in the CIC, Sharon’s subroutine is activated (KILLSHIT.EXE) and she shoots Adama twice in the chest. What’s awesome about this? Adama lives… and he’s pissed.
5.Jammer has a date with a launch tube
Jammer is a worthless pussy of a knuckle-dragger who thought that collaborating with the enemy would have benefited his fellow citizens. He joined the New Caprican Police thinking he would be keeping the Cylons out of the street (and getting all the free pie he could eat), only to end up being an extension of their forces.
After the Second Exodus, he was considered a traitor and was flushed out the launch tubes into the cold vacuum of space where he is now a Freezy-Pop.
He never got that pie, either.
4.Admiral Cain pisses off Adama
Ooo, bad call lady. You pissed off Commander William “I’ll crush your nuts” Adama. In a really messed up turn of events, Sharon gets a visit from Lt. Thorne who’s method of interogating Cylon prisoners involves dropping his pants. Chief and Helo intervene and accidentally kill Thorne.
Cain sentences them to immediate execution and Adama is not pleased. Too far out of reach to initiate the Adama Glare, he launches Galactica’s Vipers as well as one Raptor. The result is a stand off between Pegasus and Galactica and the mid-season 2 cliffhanger (that happens a lot on this show).
3.Battle on the Asteroid
From Wiki Frakr:
Hard Six has several meanings!
“Sometimes you have to roll a hard six” … this is something William Adama says when the chips are down, times are hard, and the only option is to first glare and then do something desperate, ruthless, or possibly futile. You don’t get to be an Admiral without making the tough decisions (right Cain?) [1].
“Hard Six” may possibly refer to a Number Six in her overseer role - hot black leather, chains, whips and dips … that Baltar scumbag is a lucky man.
“Rub a hard six” appears to be the Wiki Frakr term for “Random Article” … it’s also what I like to do in the privacy of my bedroom after a long hard day. It helps me sleep, and despite popular belief[1], does not make you blind.[1]
The term first appeared in the episode “The Hand Of God” in which the fleet discovers an asteroid ripe with Tilium fuel… and the Cylons are crawling all over it. Adama decides that this the perfect oppurtunity to hit the Cylons right where it hurts and, with the help of Starbuck, plans an op kick their ass in one end and out the other.
Unfortunately, Starbuck’s leg is still injured from her run in with a Cylon Raider so the fate of the fleet is now in the hands of the other ace pilot: Lee Adama. Lee pulls off the mission successfully and good times are had by all as he rubs his victory in Starbuck’s face.
2.Fall of the Battlestar Pegasus
Just as I was starting to like Lee as a character, during the one year after New Caprica’s settlement and becoming Pegasus Commander, Lee also becomes complacent and fat. Four months after they leave New Caprica, Adama and his pornostache are trying to shape up his pilots so they can perform a rescue mission for the people they left behind on Cylon Occupied New Caprica. However, all Lee can do is bitch about how hard it is and Adama gets fed up with his son’s shit.
Adama goes back to New Caprica with the crew of Galactica while Lee stays behind to guard the rest of the fleet in case they don’t make it back. Lee has trouble accepting this. During the mission on New Caprica, Pegasus decides to join the fight while leaving his fighters behind to safeguard the fleet. Pegasus arrives to find the Galactica getting the crap beat out of her and Lee ends up saving the day.
Unfortunately, in his efforts to save Galactica, he sacrificed Pegasus. Meaning that Lee once again destroys a ship of great importance. It wasn’t enough that he crashed the Blackbird, he also had to destory the bigger, better Battlestar that had the mini-Viper factory. Way to go, douche bag.
1.The Epic Adama Maneuver
The most kick ass battle in a Sci-Fi setting since the Wrath of Kahn.
After four months of brutality from the Cylons, the Battlestar Galactica finally arrives to rescue the poor stoned people of New Caprica. Not only does Galactica’s imminent arrivial spark a full-blown uprising from the resistance, it also results in one of the coolest and ballsiest moves I’ve seen.
Galactica jumps right into New Caprica’s gravitational pull and, while falling like a rock towards the surface, launches very Viper aboard the ship and then jumps away less than a mile above the surface with a sound barrier breaking clap.
It’s the Night of the Pyro and he sets shit on fire!
He’s out roastin’ the flesh of our rivals!
And the last known survivor is about to expire! *cuz, y’know, he’s on fire*
And he’s toasting them all on the Night of the Pyro!
———
Yes, I was one of many who participated in the Million Pyro March with Thursday’s update and it was quite fun. I had work the next day though, so I only had time for a few rounds of Dustbowl and Goldrush. I haven’t unlocked any of the new gear yet, but I did get to see the Backburner and and Axtingquisher in action. I have yet to see the flare gun I’m only a few achievements away from earning it myself.
The server I played on was pretty friendly. Of course, all the slots for Pyro were taken when I joined so I just played Demoman until one of the slots freed up (which didn’t take long). Eventually, I got my turn as Pyro and joined the other three Pyro players in having a Blue Team Barbecue. I may not have gotten any of the new shit but at least the requirements for unlocking them isn’t as bad as the Medic achievements.
In the end, I’m glad I chose to play on a normal server as opposed to a custom farming map (unlike this dumbass).
———
I must say, I’ve been loving the hell out of my PSP. I just recently bought a USB cable for it and put a good sized chunk of my music collection on the 1GB memory stick, as well as various wallpapers, themes and a few short movies I managed to convert to MP4 format. The fact that it doubles as a portable music/video player gave me an excuse to not hack my original model DS (which I refer to as The Phat) and it’s gotten to where I know take it with me wherever I go.
However, in my quest to customize the hell out of it, I encountered a brick wall.
I downloaded a bunch of non-official software to further push the PSP to its lmit only to discover that none of it worked and it kept giving me a corrupt file error. Turns out the PSP firmware doesn’t allow the use of non-proprietary software. So no emulators and no flash player for the web browser.
After a little more research, I discovered that the only way to get the software running is to - yup, you guessed it - hack it.
I’m not going to buy myself an “I void warranties” t-shirt just yet. Very very few have experienced problems doing such a thing but I’d rather not take the risk of turning my expensive electronic hand-held into a worthless brick. Still, the idea of playing many games from old generation consoles on the go is very tempting.
Fortunately, if I do decide to go that route, it doesn’t require me to do anything to the hardware. From what I’ve read, the process involves downgrading the current firmware to an older version and then upgrading to a custom firmware. If there is a way to back up the current firmware so I can return it to its original state, I’ll have to look into it (in case I fuck up). But if not, I’ll probably just settle for what I have.
———
The first ever screens for Soul Calibur IV’s Create a Character mode were released on Kotaku a few days ago. So far, it looks like a pretty good improvement over the CAC introduced in the last installment. Custom characters that were in the screens ranged from Afro-Ninjas to Cowgirl Samurai. I’m a sucker for customization in games (whether it be character profiles, simple-but-fun level editors or just custom decals) so I was already stoked about this game way back when it was announced. If the next announcement includes the words “create your own Jedi,” my head may explode.
———
Earth sucks.
The crew of the Galactica and the remains of the Twelve Colonies of Kobol found this out the hard way.
After three years on the run from killer robots and facing crisis after crisis along the way, they’ve finally reached their destination: a new world they can call home…
Only to discover that it’s a nuclear wasteland.
Bummer.
Because the show’s creators were so vague as to when in Earth’s time-line this all takes place, there is a debate as to whether this is our future or our past. Some think that the Cylons beat them there and others think that this may not even be Earth at all (pffft! yeah, you keep telling yourself that). But those with a keen eye know better.
In the final scene where the crew of Galactica has landed, the camera pans across the distant horizon. It becomes obvious that where they’re standing is a beach and in the distance are the ruins of what look like skyscrapers. The camera pans further to the right and before the camera cuts out we see what looks the remains of a bridge. Phil and I did a side by side comparison of the final shot and certain photos taken of the Brooklyn bridge.
Yup, they’re staring at a former New York City in the middle of a Nuclear Winter. We, the descendants of the 13th tribe of Kobol, nuke the shit out of each other in World War III.
YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
When it comes to Team Fortress 2, I’ll admit that one of my favorite classes, the Pyro, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. He’s a bit underpowered but the trick to using him is to ambush your enemies and go in for the occasional kamikaze run.
Tomorrow (Thursday), Valve is releasing an achievement pack for the Pyro in the latest update for the game and you can unlock additional gear for him in the game. The new gear includes a Flare Gun which is best for long distance attacks and acts as a replacement for the shotgun. That’s pretty awesome but the update that caught my attention was the Pyro’s ability to fire a blast of compressed air from his Flame Thrower to deflect enemy projectiles such as grenades, rockets and sticky bombs. Sweet.
The only downside to this is that, when the update is released tomorrow, everybody and their grandmother is going to play as Pyro. Of course, I’ll be one of them but I can sympathize with the complaint. When the Medic pack was released, it resulted in what many have come to refer to as The Night of a Million Medics.
The same is expected to happen with the Pyro pack and, because the Pyro is one of my favorite classes, I have written a story in his honor. I’ve also included the follow up to the Hayato VS Arashi story as a bonus.
Enjoy!
———
67 — 71.
The two warriors were well matched. Hayato and Arashi stood facing eachother, blades at the ready. Blood dripped onto the stone street from the cut on Hayato’s arm. He barely noticed it. Arashi had lost one of her swords in the battle and was now less confident than before. Still, she was determined to end this once and for all.
“Get out of my way, Demon Hunter” she said. “Unless you want to end up like Reiko.” Hayato ignored her pathetic attempt at trying to provoke him.
“You think that’s why I’m here?” he asked. “I know what you’re after. I have seen what has become of those who seek the soul sword.”
“I don’t give a damn about the others” she shouted. “Soul Edge is mine!”
With that, she lunged at her opponent. Their blades clashed and sparks flew with each strike. All around them, the cherry blossoms fell to the ground in the light of the moon as the duel continued. Suddenly, Hayato sensed a surge of Dark Energy coming from her blade.
The sword is possessed, he realized. The energy from her blade caused his sword to shatter and Hayato found himself defensless. Arashi smiled devilishly. She wanted to savor this victory.
“Farewell, Demon Hunter,” she said. But before she could deliver the final blow, there was a sudden flash of light and she became surrounded by smoke. When the haze cleared and her vision returned, she was shocked to find Hayato rushing at her with lightning speed, wielding her twin sword.
72 — 76.
You’re no good, they said. You’re extremely underpowered, they said. He had been hearing this since the beginning. But soon, all doubt would melt to ruin. There was a flame burning within his soul; a flame of hope that, one day, he would incinerate the competition. Like a Phoenix, he would rise from the ashes and all would be cleansed in the flames of chaos. Things were about to get pretty hot in here… and it wouldn’t be just him. There was a lot of talk among his team about his usefulness (or rather, the lack there of) but he didn’t care. For all he heard in his mind was the screaming of burn victims in the field of battle. Fire is a wonderful thing, the thought. Left unchecked, a fire can consume an entire forest within a matter of hours. Fire is also used to barbecue many delicious meats. In the hands of an arsonist, fire can lay waste to an entire monument. Lake Eerie once caught on fire from all of the crap floating around in it. He wishes he could have seen such a beautiful site. But now was no time for daydreaming. “Mission begins in thirty seconds!” The voice echoed throughout the base. He checked the fuel gauge on his Flame Thrower. The indicator read a full tank and he was pleased. He could see the enemy through the wired gate. They were scared… and they should be. For tonight is The Night Of The Pyro!
