Well, I would have had an on time F-Bomb yesterday but it turns out that someone in my apartment complex has been fucking with my cable box… again. I called Time Warner about it but they won’t be sending a someone out to look at it until Monday or Tuesday if I’m lucky.

I may be cut off from the Borg collective at home but, fortunately, I have access to the net at work. Work has been rather slow lately so I should have a new F-Bomb up on Monday, as well as an on-time Top Ten on Tuesday and a review of Soul Calibur IV on Wednesday.

And now for something completely different!

Comments(0)

Yeah, yeah, shut up… XP

Since I got Soul Calibur IV, I’ve been like a crack addict waiting for his next fix. That said, I need help. Actually, I’ve been pretty patient about this, but I’ve still got inner-child bouncing up and down going “Can we play it yet? Oh… How about now? Ok… Now! …. Now? … How about now?” So in an attempt to satisfy my video game junkie side, Soul Calibur is the focus of this weeks Top Ten.

As I said in yesterday’s Monday’s update, SC has become a tradition among my brother, sister and I. It’s a way of bonding for us, and by “bonding” I mean exchanging harsh words, choking each other with controller cords and just talking shit in general. My sister (who from this moment forth shall be referred to as Panda) lives in Ohio and has access to a 360 as well as a copy of the game. So Live is going to make the choking part a bit problematic. Although I’m sure I’ll hear plenty of Panda’s Soul Calibur mantra of “Ring Outs are bullshit.”

Our little brother (who shall now be referred to as the Wii One) unfortunately will have to wait and see if teh mommeh will get him a 360 for Christmas. At least I know what game to get him if she does.

This week’s Top Ten are my favorite characters in the series and the Top Five are the ones we have down to a fine art.

———

10. Yoshimitsu

There were plenty of other characters I could have put in this slot, but Yoshimitsu gets special consideration for his unique fighting style and cool factor. The last of his clan, Yoshi lost his arm in combat and had it replaced with a working prosthetic one. In addition, he robs from the rich and gives to the poor. So he’s basically some kind of steam-punk Samurai Robin Hood.

Yoshimitsu’s fighting style is a little difficult to learn at first, but once you’ve mastered him, he can be a really fun character to use. His style has gone mostly unchanged throughout the series but his appearance is always different from game to game.

9. Ivy

Isabelle “Ivy” Valentine is a british noblewoman and the biological daughter of Cervantes: the original wielder of Soul Edge. The coolest thing about Ivy (other than her ginormous b00bz) is her weapon, the Snake Sword. It looks like your standard short sword but the majority of Ivy’s moves consist of the sword uncoiling into a whip for long range attacks.

The one thing that’s disappointing about Ivy is that her move set has never remained consistant throughout the series. Namco always toys with it and she never controls the same. Other than that, she has what is probably the most inventive weapon in the series. She also has a reputation for wearing really slutty dominatrix outfits and her already massive breasts somehow manage to get slightly larger as the series goes on. The current gen consoles may not have the processing power for Soul Calibur V if the pattern continues.

8. Taki

The only Ninja in the game and second place for biggest b00bz in the series. Taki is a demon huntress of the Fu-Ma clan and wields two ninja swords: Rekki-Maru and Mekki-Maru (Taki is also a blacksmith and forged Mekki-Maru using a shard of Soul Edge). As a ninja, she’s known for her quick, agile movements and fast strikes. She also has some exaggerated ninjutsu moves and some unblockable magic attacks.

Taki deserves a spot on the list because she’s a fucking Ninja and also a hot one. In the hands of a pro, Taki can be an incredibly cheap character, though I have seen some idiots accidentally fall out of the ring trying to pull off some of her moves.

7. Siegfried

Siegfried is the blonde pretty boy formerly known as Nightmare: the demon possessed warrior wielding Soul Edge. After regaining his free will, he escaped Soul Edge’s influence and goes on a quest to atone for his sins. Shortly afterward, the essence of Soul Edge physically manifests itself into the warrior that last wielded it and Nightmare is reborn.

The last couple of games (including Soul Calibur IV) use the conflict between Siegfried and Nightmare as the central focus of the story with Siegy wielding the “good” sword, Soul Calibur and Nightmare wielding (of course) Soul Edge.

Siegfried’s weapon of choice is a gigantic-ass sword that’s almost impossible for him pick up but he swings it around like it’s nothing. Panda doesn’t like it when I play as Siegfried (or a custom character that uses his style) because I can be really cheap with him. That and I have a reputation for stomping on my KO’d opponents when I play as him.

6. Xianghua

Xianghua used to be Panda’s favorite character but she was replaced later with likes of Talim and Seung Mina, but she still plays as her quite often. Xianghua is a dancer who uses a Chinese sword and, until the later games in the series, was the only character with a pure enough heart to wield Soul Calibur.

Every game has the “young and cute girl” archetype and Xianghua filled that role nicely until the likes of Talim and Amy came along to battle over that particular niche. She’s still one of the better and more balanced fighters in the series. In the first couple of games, she had a particular move that involved her falling to ground face down and throwing a temper tantrum, earning her the nickname Xiangwha-wha.

5. Maxi

Now we’re talking. Enter the nunchuk wielding Pirate guy with the Elvis hairdo. Maxi is a vengeful son of a bitch who pursues Astaroth, another fighter in the game who wields a giant axe and is responsible for the deaths of Maxi’s friends and crew. To avenge his crew mates, Maxi teams up with Xianghua and Kilik in their quest to destroy Soul Edge: an ancient sword that Astaroth is also seeking.

Maxi gets a bad rap because of his ridiculously button-masher friendly fighting style. It’s really easy to chain a string of attacks together with little knowledge as to what the hell it is you’re doing. That said, he’s a goddamned monster in the hands of a pro.

4. Talim

Talim is the new young and cute girl of the series and a wind priestess in training. Armed with two tonfa-like weapons called “Elbow Blades,” she seeks to destroy Soul Edge in order to protect the people of her village.

Her fighting style with those twin Elbow Blades can be summed up in a single word: CHEAP. Talim, being the tender age of 15 in the latest installment, is an agile little thing who’s movies involve a crap load of somersaults and jumps which also gives a lot of room for accidental self-Ring Outs.

“Holy cow, I’m flippin’ out like a monkey on crack here- OH SHIT! *splash*”

She may be cute and adorable, but she’ll mop the floor with your ass (assuming you can control her enough to not kill yourself).

3. Mitsurugi

Here we go. Mitsurugi is a Ronin (Samurai without a master) and the very embodiment of the term BAD-ASS. He’s a scruffy, long haired, traveling warrior with a katana and a bad attitude. Mitsurugi isn’t on any quest in favor of good or evil. He just wants one thing: to be the best damn warrior in the world. And what does the best damn warrior in the world need? Well, that would be the best damn sword in the world (gee, I wonder what it’s called).

Mitsurugi is a favorite among all of his. He’s quick, he’s strong and he talks a lot of shit. “Name’s Mitsurugi. Remember that!”

2. Kilik

My all time favorite character since the first installment. Kilik is a highly skilled martial artist from China and, according to the game’s mythology, Xiangwha-wha’s love interest. Not that anyone really cares. In a fighting game, the last thing on your mind is the story.

What makes Kilik so cool to use is his Bo Staff. It makes him worthy opponent at both close and long range, and gives him the advantage in most fights. There are those who abuse him, however, and just spam the same move over and over again giving a bad rap to those of us who actually know how to use him.

Besides, there is no greater satisfaction than taking out a big guy with a Battle Axe using nothing but a stick…

1. Seung Mina

… Unless you attach a blade at the end of the stick, in which case, you end up with Seung Mina: a young girl from Korea going through that troublesome “You’re not the boss of me!” phase and ends up running away from home to fight the good fight.

Mina started out as sort of a cross between Kilik and another character, Hwang, but she’s come into her own with more unique movesets (even if some of them are still lifted from other character’s movesets). Mina is Panda’s all time favorite character so we’ve had us quite a few Kilik VS Seung Mina battles.

———

Well, today’s the day. I’m finally getting a 360 so I’ll be able to review the game that’s been sitting on my shelf for the past two weeks collecting dust. If you don’t here from me for the next few days, don’t worry. I’m planted safely in front of my TV.

Comments(0)

Sorry, for the lack of updates lately. I know I haven’t been making the kind of commitment to this blog that I thought I would but I promise that there will be more frequent updates from now on. There will still be a Top Ten this week as well as an on-time F-Bomb. There have been a number of post E3 happenings since my last update so yo can expect to hear my opinion on those as well.

And now, onto my entry for the evening.

———

For those of you living under a rock, Soul Calibur IV was released these past couple of weeks. I’d be playing it right now, but, unfortunately I don’t own an Xbox 360. I preordered a copy of the “Premium Edition” but I won’t be able to afford the console to play it on until Wednesday.

Sure, I could have waited and got the game with the 360, but I wanted that Premium Edition, damnit! Even if the free DLC isn’t all that great, I still got a neat looking poster, a comic book and a t-shirt all packaged within a nice limited edition tin case, all of which was well worth the extra $20 I spent on it.

But anyway…

It’s kind of ironic that I would make such a big fuss over a fighting game, considering I used to really suck at them. I remember getting my ass handed to me at the arcades as a kid playing Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter II, always suffering a severe beating usually followed by my opponent ripping my head off with my spinal column in tow (as was the case with MK, at least). Usually, the aforementioned ass-beatings were by older kids who had a much better understanding than I did of the game. I was little. I had no idea what I was doing so I just mashed buttons. As I got older, however, I began to appreciate more complex games and decided to give the fighter genre another chance and it resulted in me discovering two of my favorite games ever: Super Smash Bros. and Marvel VS Capcom 2 (there is another game in this category but I’m getting to that and you probably already know what it is anyway).

It was around the time of new found love for fighting games that the Sega Dreamcast was nearing the end of it’s short-lived life cycle. I was pretty pissed at the news considering that I had just bought a new DC after my roommate’s dog chewed through controller cable and shorted it. Being a former hardcore Sega fan, I ventured on a quest to acquire as many of the console’s worth while titles as I could before they disappeared from store shelves only to be sold at outrageous prices on Ebay.

Among the many games I bought were Shenmue, Skies of Arcadia, House of the Dead 2 (packaged with a light gun) and Soul Calibur. I bought SC on impulse because I couldn’t find DOA2 no matter where I looked (I eventually settled for DOA2: Hardcore for PS2). A friend of mine spoke highly about the game so, being the trusting person I am, I decided to give the game a whirl. It’s not until you actually played it that you discovered that this was no ordinary fighting game.

Soul Calibur was a game of epic proportions and has one of the most unique takes on a fighting game ever. Taking place in the 16th centure, Soul Calibur features a diverse cast of characters from all over the globe in search of the mythical blade, Soul Edge: An ancient sword of great power that corrupts all who wield it.

For a fighting game, the story is surprisingly detailed. Each character has a detailed background and they all have their own motivations for seeking the sword. Some seek it for good, some for evil and some wish to destroy it. It’s a fantasy epic set in an era of history where some still lived and died by the sword. Samurai face off against Athenian warrior chicks and dancers with Chinese blades duke it out with an undead pirate armed with twin swords.

And if that’s not diverse enough for you, you also have the option of choosing a nunchuk wielding Elvis pirate (it’s the hair), a blind bondage freak with claws, the demon-possessed wielder of Soul Edge and a buxom British dominatrix with a sword that turns into a whip. A mother fucking whip.

And that’s what seperates Soul Calibur from other fighting games. Instead of hand to hand combat, the fighters use a variety of different weapon based fighting styles and in place of the usual techno/heavy metal music is an epic soundtrack worthy of a good fantasy flick. It’s near flawless in its presentation and it’s easy to pick up and play. So much that it ended up becoming a family activity. Well, at least among my siblings and I.

We’ve kept up with every game in the series since then and it’s usually a must play whenever we get together. It also started the sibling gaming tradition of shit talking. “Oh, you’re gonna be Talim? Alright fine, I’m gonna be Raphael. Yeah, keep spamming the same fucking move over and over. Oh, ring out. That’s bullshit.”

Just a few more days and I’ll be able to do that via Xbox Live. I look forward to laying the smackdown on you, Panda.

———

Tomorrow, in an attempt to avoid going nuts over having a highly anticipated game that I can’t play for another day or so, I’ll discuss my top ten favorite characters in the series.

Comments(0)